Don’t Worry About People Who Don’t Like You

A framed picture with the words 'self care isn't selfish' written across the middle. There is a plant in the foreground.

One thing I’ve come to realise is that you can’t spend your life worrying about why people don’t like you. Because no matter how nice or friendly a person you are, there will always be people in this world who don’t like you.

Whether it’s a clash of personalities or they’re simply someone who has little time for anyone else. You can’t force them to like you, so why waste your time in trying?

Ask yourself why you’re even bothered. Do you really need the approval of someone who has no interest in ever getting to know you?

If you’ve tried with someone and there’s not been an ounce of give, just let it go and move on. 

People come and go from your life all the time. That person who couldn’t stand you at your last job should now be a distant memory. You don’t have to engage with them anymore because you don’t work with them anymore. They shouldn’t be living rent free in your mind. 

Sometimes, the people who you don’t get along with will always be around due to various circumstances. In this case, just be amicable and friendly in situations where you must be in the same room as them. There’s little point in confronting them about why they don’t like you, as it will likely just make things worse. At least if you carry on being normal, the situation remains neutral, and the stress of an argument remains distant.

You can’t change others, but you can change how you respond to them. Plus, who knows? They may come around to you eventually, because they might see you’re not as bad as their mind was telling them.  But sometimes people will never change. It’s not on you spend enormous amounts of energy on trying to get them to change.

It’s even likely that the person who doesn’t like you is doing it because they want you to bite. They want you to confront them, or they want you to start treating them badly back so that they then have an excuse to get even worse. Some people just thrive off the drama. Don’t take the bait. 

Our personalities aren’t always compatible. That’s what makes humans so wonderfully unique. But we all just have to learn to get along with each other. I’m not saying be a door mat and let someone walk all over you. If someone is being intentionally nasty to you, it’s time to consider cutting them out of your life for good. There’s a difference in being civil towards someone who doesn’t really like you but doesn’t act nasty towards you, and someone who is clearly a toxic person who is never going to be a good influence on your life. In the latter case, other people usually start to notice that too. Someone like that will be on the fast road to having nobody around them. 

Someone once told me that the best revenge is a happy life. Focus on yourself and your family. All that effort you’ve wasted on winning someone over who is never going to have much of an interest in you could be better spent on yourself and the people who do matter. Focus on living a good, fulfilled and happy life. Focus on looking after your family.

By worrying about whether someone likes you, you’re only wasting your energy. This is energy that you could be spending on more important and fulfilling things. Once you realise you don’t have to get everyone to like you, it’s much easier to focus your attention on those who do.

Further reading: How not to care when people don’t like you – Lifehacker.

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