Category: Parenting

That bunch of clothes on the dryer above is Ivy’s way of helping. She saw me getting the washing out of the washing machine and approached saying “I help.”

She then proceeds to just shove them on the dryer, one after the other, in one big bunch. She wouldn’t let me help her either, saying “no, I do it”, which is not surprising as she’s fiercely independent (anyone with a three year-old will have a similar experience).

In her little head she thinks she’s helping, and she’s at that age where everything is an enjoyable learning experience and boring-ass chores feel fun. Yeah, it means the job takes twice as long for me, as I have to take everything off that she’s put on there. But I would never not want this experience. It’s cute as hell and it’s little moments like this that I’ll fondly remember, especially once she’s a grumpy teenager moaning about helping with chores.

They’ll get to an age one day where you’ll miss these little moments from when they were tiny. My 7 year-old already likes to moan when we ask him to do chores, yet there was a time when he would be like Ivy too. That said, Noah also has unprompted moments when he wants to help, such as with helping me clear weeds in the garden. I’ll always let him help and cherish that time with him, because those moments don’t last forever.

They won’t be perfect when they do help. But those imperfections are what helps them learn. Focus on the process, not the outcome.

I’ve just realised I’ve never mentioned Ivy on my blog before, apart from announcing our pregnancy in this post. There is something I want to share about her soon as it’s a cause I need to bring more awareness too, but I’ll leave that for another day.

Christmas 2022 was pretty uneventful for the Mulrooney family, which, at my age, is the way I like it. We did the usual stuff; Noah opening his presents, the Christmas day meal at the in-laws, being lazy on Boxing Day while also attempting to build Noah’s new toys. We did other stuff around it too, such as going for Christmas Eve breakfast at a local pub. Although, this turned out to be a bit of a nightmare thanks to the impatience of a three-year-old. It was standard stuff, but that’s perfect in my book. 

At the same time, Christmas this year felt unique. While we’ve spent time ensuring that Noah has a magical time, much of our focus has been on what comes after Christmas. Because, a few days from now, our new baby will have arrived.  

It’s odd knowing the exact date your baby is going to arrive, providing everything goes like clockwork. Because Alex has chosen to have a C-section, the hospital assigned us a morning slot in which to turn up. As long as we don’t get bumped down the list due to any emergencies, our baby will be into this world without Alex having to go through the stress of a natural labour (which didn’t happen with Noah either, not through lack of trying on Alex’s part). We’ve heard that a planned C-section is much calmer than the emergency C-section that happened with Noah, so we’re looking forward to the process being a lot smoother. Fingers crossed. 

Are we ready for our second child? I don’t think anyone is ever fully ready. We didn’t feel ready for our first child, but we coped and he’s a now a healthy little boy who often drives us up the wall! People keep telling me that a second child is a whole different ball game. While I’m looking forward to the challenge, I know that the job of being a parent is about to get much harder.  

Thankfully, my work has allowed me to extend my two-week paternity leave by letting me tack on two weeks annual leave so I can have four weeks off work. When you add that to the week I’ve had off for Christmas, that means I’ll be having over a month away from work.  

I wanted to do this for a few reasons. First, it’s going to be a lot harder to look after a new born when you’ve already got a three-year-old causing chaos around the house (he won’t be going back to our childminder until the second week of January). Second, Alex is going to struggle to do things while she recovers from a doctor slicing her open (she can’t drive for six weeks), so I want to be there to help as much as possible. Finally, I want to have as much time to bond with my new child as possible without the distraction of a daily job. I only had two weeks off when Noah arrived, and part of that was taken up by studying for an exam I’d been going to classes for. The plan is to be more present this time around. 

I know I’m in a fortunate position to be able to take so much time off work, and I’m super grateful to the company I work at for letting me do this. We’ll be hit on the financial side for a bit, which isn’t the most ideal situation when it feels like everything is going up in price, but we’ve worked it all out and we can get by on less for a while.  

It won’t feel real until I’ve got our new baby in my arms because, right now, I’m still a bit unaware of how much our life is going to change for the second time. I never thought we would be here again, especially after what happened the first time, but here we are. I’m over the moon about growing our little family, and so excited for what’s to come in the future. Although you may have to remind me of that when I’m attempting to survive the day on two hours sleep! 

If you want to read Alex’s thoughts on this, head over to her blog post.

If you’re a parent but you haven’t yet been on holiday with your child or children, then let me tell you this. Dispense with any fairy-tale notion that you’re ever going to have a relaxing holiday when you go away as a family. Yes, maybe they’ll be a little easier once they hit their teens, especially if you only ever have one child, but those days of going on a chilled holiday as a couple are long gone. 

We were probably a little naïve in thinking it wouldn’t be too hard with a two-year-old. I mean, he throws a little paddy simply because a toy car won’t fit under a wooden bridge that’s about three sizes too small for it. So, why we thought he’d be ok I’ll never know. At least we didn’t have the stress of going abroad, as it was just a two and a half-hour drive to a Haven holiday park known as Primrose Valley in Yorkshire. 

It’s technically not our first holiday, as we went to Spain for a family wedding when he was only around 5 months old. But that was relatively easy, as he was still in the stage where he slept for most of the day. This holiday was our first trip together where Noah could now take part in activities and enjoy himself, although he had many moments that just made us want to pack up and head home.

But I’m probably being a little too harsh, as we did have fun moments on our holiday. It is, after all, mostly about your child having fun. Yet, we were utterly exhausted by the end of it to the point that we travelled home a day early on the Sunday (we were supposed to be out of our accommodation by the Monday) simply because we could have a day off from work to recover once we were back.  

The WHO declared the Covid-19 outbreak a pandemic on March 11, 2020. My son, Noah, wasn’t even one on that date. 

Here is Noah just a few days before that.  

Here is Noah on the Sunday just gone. He’ll turn two next month. 

You can sort of chart the course of the year by looking at his hair, which has obviously grown a lot since the pandemic began over a year ago. It was whispy and thin at that age. It’s now longer and thicker, and he has the most magnificent bedhead every morning.

We’ve had few opportunities to get it cut, with hairdressers being open for a few weeks before having to close again. Cutting it ourselves just makes it look like we’ve put a bowl on his head, so we’re content to keep it as it is for now.  

But you can also see how much his face has changed. He’s now a little boy who can run around and say over 50 words. I’m constantly amazed by every new little thing he does, and he has a cheeky little character that always has me in fits of laughter. 

It’s a shame that the majority of a year of his life, which is a long time in a child of his age, has been spent being cooped up within the same four walls. We try to go for walks or go to the park when the weather is fine, but there’s only so much you can do when you’re limited to your local area and lots of activities you can do with your children are still closed.  

He still gets to the go to the childminders, so at least he has the social contact that he is mostly being deprived of in other areas right now. 

It’s the effect that the coronavirus pandemic has had on children that worries me the most. Maybe not so much Noah, as he’s still very young. But all the kids at school and the amount of learning – or simply just being able to be a child – that they’ve missed out on.  

It’s been hard for us all, mentally and physically, but I hate that children have had to miss out on chunks of their childhood. It’s something they’ll never get back.  

As the UK lockdown goes on and on (although hopefully, it will end in a few months) Noah has had enough and has now decided he wants to live inside a basket.

I don’t blame the kid, life stuck in this little house has got very dull. If putting a basket on his head is his form of entertainment, then I’m all for it.

I’m tempted to have a go myself. At least it’s something to do.

Everything changes when you have a child, including every room in your home. You’ll even find a sign of their presence in the rooms they never go in (at least that’s what they want you to think). You’ll find a random object that’s on the other side of the house from where it’s supposed to be. While the back of the sofa is apparently a good place to store your toys.  This is their home now, you’re just a guest who happens to feed them and change their dirty nappies.

Here are three photos that show a child has well and truly taken over your home. 

The bath is no longer a place to relax after a long day at work. It’s now a place where you have to peel off various bath toys that are stuck to the surface of the bath, or completely give up and kiss your relaxing soak goodbye. That’s if you even get the chance to have a bath, because you’ll inevitably hear your child screaming about something downstairs while they’re with the other parent. Bath bombs and candles cease to mean anything.  

As I said yesterday, we fill our home with books so that we can encourage Noah to be a big reader as he grows up. My child must be super advanced for his age, because he’s suddenly giving me book recommendations by deciding to carry one of his books from his bedroom and popping it on top of the stack of books that lies next to my side of the bed. Either that or he thinks I’m socially inept and I struggle to say hello to people. 

Finally, your living room will go from looking neat and tidy to a complete bomb site within the space of 5 seconds. Because your child also has an attention span of about 5 seconds for each and every toy that they own. Once everything is out on the floor, they’ll inevitably get bored and wander off to try and play with something that they shouldn’t be touching, leaving you to accidentally step on one of their toy bricks for the 50^th time.  

Oh, and that carpet you spent a small fortune on? Milk stains, milk stains everywhere. Admittedly, giving him a bottle of milk to run around with isn’t the best idea we’ve ever had. We should now be fully aware that a toddler will simply throw their bottle once they’ve had a swig from it.

My wife also wrote about the final point and used the same photo. While it looks chaotic, it’s actually been worse, and that photo only shows a small slice of the living room. He also appears to be watching TV in that photograph, completely ignoring the chaos he’s caused around him.  

If you’re about to become a parent, just be prepared to deal with every object in your home being suddenly sticky and you have no idea why. There’s little point in trying to keep the perfect home, especially when it will be all torn apart as soon as they wake up or walk through the front door. Just deal with the fact that this is your life until they’re old enough to fully comprehend what tidying up means. Of course, by then they’ll probably be refusing to do chores, but that’s something we can look forward to having to deal with in the future.